Boy Horn

Boy Horn

Has this ever happened to you?

As her husband Donnie was getting ready to go out, Suzanne wandered into the master bedroom and sat nervously by the side of the bed.

As she gnawed on the inside of her lips, Suzanne stared through the floor and then at Donnie, then away again before looking him in the eye, "Um...I think I am a little bewildered."

She halted as if gasping for air and looked away while letting out a heavy sigh, "I was attempting, um... to log on to a website on your computer...and well...I guess, I guess I don't understand."

She looked away again and then back at him. Barely able to press the words through her lips she continued, "When I began typing in the URL I typed www then p and well...um...god!...the playboy site came up." She rubbed her eyes with the palms of her hands. "Umm...do you think you can explain that to me?"

Her stare became more intense, "Is that what you've been doing when you stay up...after we've all gone to bed?" Befuddled, she shook her head.

With pain flooding her heart she whispered, "I thought you were over this." "It wasn't easy forgiving you the first time. And this is what ...the third time?" Sapped of all energy she sank into the bedspread, hung her head while tears began trickling, then flooding her cheeks.

As his wife Suzanne finished, Donnie stood there like a buck frozen in the headlights of an 18 wheeler barreling down on him with horn fully blaring.

There was no doubt she had him dead to rights. His brain switched to speed dial searching for the perfect comeback or alibi. He knew couldn't lie; he couldn't even rationalize his behavior. He didn't even know what would happen after he gave his reply. One thing he knew for certain is that his lack of self-control and or personal discipline had put his marriage and his life in jeopardy. With that in mind Donnie could do no more than breathe out a sheepish, "yep."

Be assured that you are not alone. Every day across America and around the world this scene of sorrow is replayed over and over again. Men and women are destroying their lives because they are unable to control their basic appetites. Lacking personal discipline is a life pattern that will render your best life derailed.

Perhaps you are wandering, "what can I do to overcome this destructive life pattern?" "How do I learn self-control?" Follow this four step process:

First, take ownership of the bad habit or destructive life pattern. Do not make excuses and do not blame anyone else. Admit to yourself that you have a problem and you are the problem.

Second, confess the problem to a trusted friend or loved one.

Third, forgive yourself and declare that your present and future behaviors do not have to be determined by your past failures. Yesterday is gone; today is that start of a new life pattern.

Fourth, use the four unique gifts God has given every human being to design a new life pattern. God has endowed human beings with four unique gifts that help us make better choices and design and implement new life choices and patterns. Stephen Covey has identified these gifts as:

- Self-awareness - the ability to observe and analyze our past behavior.

- Conscience - the ability to know between right and wrong.

- Imagination - the ability to design a new life pattern.

- Independent wills - the ability to carry out the new plan.

Fifth, recruit someone to help you stick to your new life plan. The best choice is a friend or loved one who knows you and cares for you. However, if you feel such accountability will put undue stress and strain on your relationship you could seek out a mentor or even pay a life coach to counsel and guide you step by step to the victory you want.

Put these four steps to work for you and you will have your best life back on track in no time.

Eric Coggins -- Like Donnie, has your lack of personal discipline caused problems with your loved ones?Are you one who has a difficult time saying you're sorry? When it comes to mending your relationships do you struggle with what to say or do? One man has spent many hours researching positive steps to mend broken relationships and has compiled many helpful hints for those who need them. Check it out at http://www.thebestyou.org under the heading "Kindness" and the sub-heading "Mending Relationships." While you are there browse through the Bookstore for other hints for improving your life.

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