Goose Girl

Goose Girl

Manifesto Destiny: the Gentleman’s Club

Manifesto Destiny: The Gentleman’s Club

This Decade so far has been a compendium of bad things: Horrible Natural and Terrorist disasters, astronomical oil prices (which I have made Money from because I know how to trade commodities), a war in the Middle East with the wrong Arabs, the male race turning into whining/ complainers, people not respecting their elders, people believing that White Trash is “cool”, messy hair being fashionable, Hip Hop culture morphing into materialistic crap for suburban white kids, the corporatization of what was once hip, people protesting restaurants serving foie gras, the persecution of smoking indoors, Reality TV.

The one thing that has stayed relatively unchanged thru the decade is the value of Gentleman’s Clubs. Although they have been cracked down on a little, they are still as relevant as ever. Today’s Manifesto Tip, is Beginner Concepts to making these joints pay for themselves. And pay attention, because if you have ever been in a Gentleman’s Club and seen the most beautiful girl you have ever seen, and said to yourself: “I wonder what kind of guy that girl goes home with after she gets off work?” The answer is: I am that Guy…………………………

1. Attire. We have already covered how you want to dress in other manifesto tips. Basically the only question you should be asking yourself is: “Should I wear a tie or not?” If you roll to the Gentleman’s Club with another guy a good move is: one with tie, one without. This way you have all your bases covered. While we are on the subject, rolling solo is a good move in these places. Going with someone else should only be done if the other person has plenty of game and is an advocate of “The Life”…….Look at the flip side: Stepping into the joint with 4 buddies with Sigma PI Alumni T-Shirts on is going to get you absolutely no where. At best you will end up looking like the other 5 Jerkoffs who are already in the Club with the Beta Nu shirts on….and trust me ….they aren’t getting anywhere either……….

2. Entrance. So roll in solo or with one other person who knows what time it is. Have a good positive vibe going. No need to yell and “whoop it up”…….keep it smooth….shake the bouncers hands…..These guys can potentially ruin your “close” later on in the night…so get them on your team…grease them….if you are starting to notice some common themes with prior tips, that’s good…that means your paying attention…(Also, if your in NYC at the Penthouse Executive Club, these guys will let you go in and out of the bar to smoke cigarettes with no hassle….I mean, what’s that worth? Certainly a C-Note)

3. The Bar. After you have made your entrance, head to the Bar. Don’t get a table or sit by the stage. Every girl will try to fleece you and you will appear to be a “mark”. Plus, that’s what every jackass does when they walk into a Gentleman’s Club. The whole idea is to separate yourself from the Status Quo. News just in….The Status Quo does not end up going home with Exotic Dancers……Also, no lap dances…..for the same reason. Getting the bartender on your team is also a good move…if the bartender is a beautiful girl, all the better…..she can make a great ally and give you plenty on "intel" on the joint….and she may want to kick off her heels, stretch her legs and drink a glass of Vino with you at your suite as well……..

4. Vernacular. Make sure you use proper “speak” in Gentleman’s Clubs. Even if an Exotic Dancer refers to herself as a “stripper”, correct her, tell her she is an “Exotic Dancer”. If she calls it a “Titty Bar”, correct her…it’s a “Gentleman’s Club” This will transcend into your whole aura and girls will view you as a man of style and taste. This again will separate you from the sheep. Obviously, you want to be the Lone Wolf, Top Predator, with Top Pedigree in this “Ecosystem”. Growing up, Irish Mobster/ Playboy, Butch O’Farrell once told me (although I don’t approve of his choice of language), “Treat the queens like whores, and treat the whores like queens.” Obviously, this is an extreme example, but Butch makes a great point here (Butch………. rest in peace).

5. Drawing Exotic Dancers in. The $1800.00 suit you have on obviously helps. So does having plenty of smokes, a Zippo, and flashing a Big Bankroll when you buy Goose and Sodas. These girls tend to notice things like these better than “Civilian” Girls. Buy the Dancers plenty of drinks…no explanation necessary. Again, no need to yell, whistle or cat call. Seem disinterested…seem bored….like seeing naked girls is really no big deal for you…. (Which for me, isn’t a big deal, in fact a topless girl is rubbing my shoulders as I write this….) either way…at least act like this is just another night for you… (which for me, it is)…….very quickly, girls will be coming up and introducing themselves to you as if you were Sherman Billingsley at the Stork Club……

6. The Rap. The key to your rap is to get the girl to lower her guard, qualify the girl, and get her interested in what you have to offer. Keep in mind the most beautiful “Pam Anderson” type girl might not be the best move….go with the best prospect that you have the best connection with… (Plus, often times you have to compete with that Oil Sheik Money for the Pam Anderson ones). Once you have found the right girl, you need to have the right answers to topics that will always come up: Your Occupation? Now is not the time to be honest and tell her you are an Accountant……or a computer Programmer….or that you’re in town for an Insurance Salesman’s Conference. Come up with something mysterious and interesting i.e.…..”I am involved in Import/ Exports based out of Miami” or “I do Leveraged Buyouts” or “I am in the Emerald Business with offices in Switzerland and Columbia” …………when I was younger, I went with: “I am a Stuntman in Hollywood…mostly Car and Motorcycle stunts with some fight scenes…you have seen “Heat” with Pacino?…right?…” The point is come up with something vague, that implies CASH, organized crime, or something dangerous or cool……just make sure the story is air tight. For instance, if you go with the Emerald business, make sure you know that “three main Emerald mining areas in Colombia are the Muzo, Coscuez and Chivor mines” just in case the girl’s dad was an Emerald Trader. Or if your a stunt man, and you drop some movies that you were in, know the names of the real stunt men in the movies from the credits and say that was your “alias”….you get the point.

Do a lot of name dropping. Tell girls that Chris Pacello of Liquid was a good friend of yours before he got sent up the river. Or how Jean-George Vongerichten is one of your business partners…..don’t be afraid to get a little Hollywood, maybe say that Andy Garcia is one of your cousins on the Spanish side…or Mickey Rourke is your 2nd cousin on your Irish side….(News just in….Exotic Dancers actually like that Hollywood crap).

Make some subtle, big plans with the girls. For instance: “I do a lot of Banking in the Bahamas……for tax reasons…..have you ever been to The Atlantis? You haven’t? ……I have a place there….we should go next time I go down there…….its so beautiful…..”

7. The Close. The art of closing is more in what leads up to the close than the actual close itself. The clichéd move is the drugs/cocaine close….although I am not an advocate, this is known to be very effective close, but is far from artistic……Asking the girl to meet you at the lobby bar in a 5-star hotel or at a great open restaurant are also very effective closes….My favorite close I am saving for another manifesto… (Hey, I told you these were going to be beginner tips……)

These tips when used correctly, are extremely effective. The only competition you will face will be from Pro-Athletes, Musicians on MTV, and Hollywood Actors. However, I can recall an evening in Ricks Cabaret in New Orleans when there was a singer from some crappy, famous band, a Superstar from the World Champion Chicago Bulls, a well-known Actor and myself all enjoying the “subdued environment” of Ricks. Although these three guys are at the top of their “respected” fields, they were all “riding the bench” when I was in the Club with them, as I came out Tops on the night……….true story….The Rest Is Up To You…….

Michael Porfirio Mason

AKA The Peoples Champ

http://www.thegmanifesto.com/

(The G Manifesto is really starting to become critically acclaimed. A famous New York Publicist has recently called me: “The Voice of a Generation”……funny, the only thing I can remember my Voice saying consistently is “Princess, I’ll meet you at the Lobby Bar of the Ritz-Carlton in a half an hour”………go figure)

About the Author

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