Hallmark American

Hallmark American

In sports, some degree of aggressiveness is vital. Don't get me wrong, when I use the word aggressive I am referring to that fierce, tenacious spirit that builds true winners. It is the kind of spirit that allows the sports person to fail and reenergize to succeed at the next try. It is the kind of aggression that sees opportunities and seizes them to clutch victory over and over again. This kind of aggressiveness is in my mind a hallmark of sportsmanship.

Sadly, however, a trend is emerging on and off the field that is troubling. It is a kind of aggressiveness that has become toxic anger. A simple little league game can become a brawl that ends up in court or worst, in the hospital. Words fly on the field that should never be spoken anywhere especially not in front of children. Young players disregard the rights and physical wellbeing of their teammates all in the name of winning. Parents and coaches engage in fist fights and verbal exchanges that go beyond unacceptable behavior. Somehow this aggression has gone bad.

There are many dangers in this emerging trend but I will only address two. The first is related to the idea that how we express anger is learned. I have weekly encounters with individuals who struggle with anger. There is one thing that remains consistent--people who struggle with anger in the majority of cases have a parent or close relative who raised them that also have an anger problem. This troubles me because in sports, children who see parents exhibit problems with anger often imitate this and are more prone to display unhealthy anger and aggression on and off the field leading to these children being labeled as lacking sportsmanship or worst, exhibiting the kind of anger that affects their ability to deal with challenges at school and in the community.

The second danger is that anger is a secondary emotion and a signal. If these signals are ignored the consequence is explosive anger which is often destructive. Parents and other spectators who exhibit anger on a sporting field are often responding to other feelings that initially are not anger. They may feel emotions like fear, embarrassment, or even jealousy. These emotions flood the mind letting us know that something has gone wrong that needs our attention. If not dealt with appropriately they become anger. This anger is then taken out on others in ways that has in some cases has been deadly.

Individuals who exhibit inappropriate anger or aggression on or off the field need anger management. They need the kind of program which does not take away that healthy aggression but will teach ways to channel this aggression in appropriate ways which is so important in sports. Here are four tips parents and guardians can use to reduce inappropriate anger at sporting events:

o Ensure that your decision to enroll your child in sports is purely for your child's development.

o Don't display behaviors you would be ashamed to see your child repeat

o Make sure that the value placed on the game is realistic.

o Be on your best behavior when interacting with parents who have children on apposing teams to your child

Carlos Todd, LPC, NCC, CAMF

President of the American Association of Anger Management Providers

Carlos Todd is the owner of Todd’s Anger Management Solutions in Charlotte, NC

http://www.masteringanger.com
http://www.aaamp.org
http://www.angeronmymind.com

Carlos Todd is a Licensed Professional Counselor and a certified anger management provider. He has close to a decade experience in the mental health field. He also owns and operated Todd's Anger Management Solution (TAMS) in North Carolina. Mr. Todd was recently appointed president of the American Association of Anger Management providers.

Carlos Todd, LPC, CAMF
704-804-0841
todds@masteringanger.com

Hallmark $47 Sir Oliver Popplewell became, in his own words, officially 'judicially senile' after a distinguished career at the Bar, as a High court judge specialising in defamation, arbitration and sports law - an appropriate niche for a Cambridge cricket Blue. And in public life he achieved prominence as chairman of important public enquiries such as the Bradford Stadium disaster. "Hallmark: A Judge's Life at Oxford", the sequel to his acclaimed autobiography, "Benchmark: Life, Laughter and the Law", tells how he went to Oxford University to read Philosophy, Politics and Economics as the oldest undergraduate ever to be admitted - with considerable press and media coverage and good-natured amusement among family and friends.Here is a sharply observed, sympathetic yet critical picture of modern Oxford seen from the perspective of a leading judge and public figure who could contrast this experience with his Cambridge days from the late 1940s. But this is much more than the story of an older student. It is hugely entertaining account of a life lived to the full.Sir Oliver takes his readers into his confidence, shares his experience and presents a unique facet of a fascinating life which can serve as a warm but sharply observed social and cultural history of modern Britain.

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