Kissed Cotton

Kissed Cotton

One of the many fascinating aspects of moving from one country to another is the difference in attitudes to baby care. In my case, I had two children in England, where I come from, and now have a two year old born in the Philippines, where I now live. I have therefore had plenty of opportunity to observe not just how Filipinos bring up their children, but how they react to seeing the way my daughter is being raised. It also enables me to compare and contrast the two approaches to baby care.

I think it is fair to say that, the world over, people love babies. However, there are degrees, and the Filipino people, at least on the surface, love babies a lot more than the English. That is, if you judge "love" by the amount of attention the baby may be given, and how she is welcomed and treated wherever she goes. In fact, the adoration of babies here starts before birth; even before conception. When I first introduced my wife-to-be to our landlady, once she had taken hold of her hand and kissed her on the cheek, she said: "You two will have such beautiful children." That conversation would not have taken place in England.

There are many differences in the way babies are cared for in the Philippines, and the mothers during pregnancy and labour. The countries are at a very different level of development, so health care is not of the same standard in the Philippines. To make things worse for ordinary Filipinos, who are mostly very poor, there is a high death rate amongst babies and mothers during birth.

Pregnancy, Labour and Birth

One notable difference between England and the Philippines was, not surprisingly, the lack of pre-natal classes. Fortunately, with my own experiences of two children in England, and the mine of information on the internet, we were able to get through the nine months with no difficulties.

As the birth of our new baby approached, though, a couple of differences were very apparent to me as a foreign resident. Firstly, as my wife was going through a false labour, with erratic contractions, neighbours and friends were anxious to get her to the clinic, and were showing signs of panic. I was monitoring closely, so my wife and I were as relaxed as we could be in the circumstances.

Later that day, my wife finally went into true labour, of that I was sure by about 7pm. Soon, there was a car outside the door and anxious friends saying "quick, we'll take you to the clinic." I was touched by their concern, but tried to assure them the baby was not about to arrive. Labour for a first baby averages 12-14 hours for the first stage alone, followed by another one or two hours. The doctor had told us, as they would in England, not to arrive too early.

We did go to the clinic some 8 hours later, when contractions suddenly dropped from 8 to 5 minute intervals, but even then, the doctor was not over the moon about it. She said nothing to complain, she is a lovely lady, but I could see from her face she would have loved an uninterrupted night's sleep rather than be woken after 2.30am.

When the final stage of labour started, at a civilized time of 7am, I did get a shock, one that did reflect a difference in culture. As my poor wife was led away to the delivery room, experiencing intense labour pains for the first time in her life, and not allowed any pain killers, I was told to just wait. It was like a secret society meeting to which I had no invitation. I was stunned that I could not be with my wife, and see the birth.

However, I quickly made the most of the situation, and recalled movies set in past times when Dad was not allowed in the delivery room. That way, the excitement, anticipation and tension built as I listened for some sign that the baby was either close, or had arrived. I did not hear a sound from my wife at all, but eventually the sound of a newborn baby crying broke the silence. We had a beautiful daughter, but I was still not allowed in immediately, as the staff wanted to have the baby and the room looking perfect.

It was worth the wait, and soon I was at Saffron's side, admiring her pretty and surprisingly feminine face. My wife slept blissfully; the night's activities had left her exhausted.

This baby care article was written by Roy Thomsitt, owner author of the Bouncing New Baby website.

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