Misfit Toys
Misfit Toys
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Misfit Mystic
Misfit Mystic
If there's one thing that going through hell will give you, it's perspective. Hell is funny that way. Once you've been there, nothing ever looks quite the same again. Not that I would recommend that particular route as a path to spiritual consciousness, but if you do find yourself on that path, and if you survive it, it certainly does get your attention.
If you're on a spiritual path, and in hell at the same time, it can really get confusing. A person can't help but wonder, "What IS the MATTER with me? If I'm such a spiritual being, how did things end up like THIS?" It can make one feel rather like a misfit among the enlightened, or at least among the wise.
Experiencing hell - or the Dark Night of the Soul, call it what you will - however, and hand in hand with that experiencing the feeling of being radically unqualified to embody even a basic level of cosmic wisdom can, apparently, be a significant part of remembering our Truth. Think about it. Most of the powerful avatars in history have been through their own version of hell. Why is that? Because without it, they would not have the perspective that allows for an expanded vision of the bigger picture.
Some of us have, I believe, an especially strong soul purpose. I don't know why, and won't pretend to know what goes on in the cosmos prior to being born. It seems clear however that many people come into this life with something big to work out, or remember. And one way we get to what it is that we are supposed to remember is via hell.
In his book Seat of the Soul author Gary Zukov postulates, "To the degree that our soul desires its wholeness, will we experience it's opposite." When I first read that statement in 1998 I thought, "Wow! My soul must have a REALLY strong desire to know it's wholeness!" I was at Extended Stay Hell at the time. I don't know if what he says is true or not, but I have remembered his statement and refer to it often.
Having been forged in the fires makes for quite a story. But, it's just a story. Everybody has one. Stories can serve a purpose. They can give people hope who are walking through their own Dark Night. The problem is that often we get so stuck in our story that we cant get beyond it. We become so identified to ourselves as misfits, we never escape that self-imposed label to discover Truth. We must learn to carry our story lightly.
I know too that there is life on the other side of hell. It is survivable. It's also very local. I'm not one of those who believes in the hell of my youth, the fire and brimstone version, hosted by a fire-breathing guy with horns and a red suit. In my experience you don't have to go nearly that far to find hell. It can be as close as your next step. Or your next thought.
I'm not particularly fond of hell stories anymore. Honestly I don't know that my story is particularly important. Or yours for that matter. It's not that I'm not interested, I am, really. But lets face it, we all have a story. And most, if not all of us have wandered, briefly or for an extended stay, into our own version of hell. The story is just the route we took, and there are as many of those as there are people who experience it. The story is just the details.
The main reason I'm not too fond of hell stories is this; We give them way too much power. We forget that they are not who we are, but rather are simply a path that we have walked.
For a long time I did just that, gave my story way too much power. I let it define me. I let it confine me. I let my story hold me hostage long after I had actually emerged from hell. It wasn't comfortable, but it was familiar. Or as a friend of mine says it may stink, but it's warm.
My story was never really my Truth, but it was certainly high drama and a great excuse for me to give away my power and stay small. To be a victim. In fact I became worse than a victim. I became a volunteer. On some level I agreed to embrace my story, for in truth, for a long time my story was all that I had. And that is a sorry state of affairs.
I have learned that there is a significant difference between my story, and my Truth. The story constricts my experience of life. The more attached I am to my story, the more confined by that very story my life will be.
Truth on the other hand liberates me. The Truth transcends my story. It doesn't matter who you are, or what version of hell you've experienced. It's just a story. And it is, without question, not your Truth.
The two, our story and our Truth, have quite an interesting relationship.
We must walk our story. It's a part of every human life experience. I had to walk mine, and you have to walk yours. It's how we relate to each other, how we find commonality. Along the way however we accumulate more and more beliefs, perspectives, fears and definitions. So as time goes by it can constrict us more and more. Yet our story, our path, is also the only thing that can lead us to our Truth. And ironically, the Truth is the only thing that can liberate us from our story.
Another problem with our story, if we give it enough power, is that it can actually stand between us, our Real Self, and our Truth. I'll show you how.
Your Truth is this:
>You are a conscious and intentional intersection in time and space that Divinity has created out of Itself.
>You are exactly where you are supposed to be at exactly the right time, every moment.
>You are a vehicle through which The Divine expresses Itself in this world.
>All that you feel, and think, and say, all that you dream, is The Creative Consciousness expressing Itself.
>You are a place where Divinity experiences Itself, as you and as the world around you.
>You are the eyes, and ears, the hands and feet, the mind and heart of God.
>You are immersed in a sea of infinite possibility.
>You are a co-creator of your own life experience.
>You are completely at choice, every moment, as to how you walk through your life.
>You are free to be any kind of person that you choose.
>There has never been anyone more Divine than you.
Now let me ask you this; As you read through that list, how did you feel? Were you in complete alignment and agreement with it? Was there a resonance and a recognition of the Truth of each point?
Or did you find yourself resisting any of it, questioning. Was there a hesitation anywhere in your mind, a clench in your jaw, a clutch in your gut, a hesitation in your mind. Did you find yourself thinking, "That may be true for someone else, but not for me." ?
If you find yourself in this category, the good news is, there is only one thing standing between you, and that Truth; your story.
When I used to hear words like the ones you just read, that list, and someone would even dare to imply that a list like that was the Truth of who and what I am, I couldn't even relate. My story, my accumulated beliefs, doubts, fears, insecurities, even early religious training would not let me identify with that Truth. I thought that somehow I was different, less worthy, less Divine, less powerful, somehow less of a place where God shows up in this world than someone, anyone - everyone - else. I had come to think of myself as a misfit, some kind of cosmic mistake - here, breathing, existing in the world, but defective, less than. My own story had convinced me that this was so.
But what I have discovered since then is that my story is not my Truth. What I once believed about myself was not my Truth. Much of what I was taught, and learned along the way was not my Truth. I have discovered that I have much to unlearn.
Some of it may have been true to some degree at some time in my life. It sure seemed that way. But Truth can be funny that way. If I say to myself, "I am inconsiderate." The chances are, I will be inconsiderate. Fill in your own blank, "I am... whatever", lazy, fat, poor, unhappy, powerless. Pick your poison. If you believe that to be your Truth, it probably is. Why? Because that's your story, and you're sticking to it!
We LOVE our stories! And it's pretty easy to see why. They define us, give us something to hang on to. They give us a point of reference. And soon they become a point of comparison. We start comparing our story to other stories, and, our ego's being what they are, we start ranking ourselves, and others. We begin to judge.
Consider this; What would you be if you let go of your story? What if you stepped out of any accumulated beliefs about who and what you are, and are not, about how the world works? What if you were to let go of your fears, all of the reasons why you can't, or shouldn't? For most of us, to even consider such a thing scares us to death.
But think about how powerful our story can be.
Parts of my early story were; I am a sinner, I am a good boy, I am a bad boy, my body is something to be ashamed of. I was the only male child, the only one with dark hair. Soon I was a problem child, a challenge, a handful. I was hyperactive, emotional, angry, sensitive, stubborn. My dad lived somewhere else, had another wife, another family.
When I was little there was an animated Christmas show about an island where all of the misfit toys went, and there was a little misfit elf that ran away and went there too. I understood why, and related to that little misfit elf. Early on, that's what I became, that's how I saw myself; a misfit.
My story is not unique, and not in and of itself really important, but I share parts of it because in so doing I hope to break us out of this illusion that we have created for ourselves that we are somehow different. The fact is, we're not different at all. In fact in the years since I have become involved with 12-step recovery, and more recently since I have gone into professional counseling as a career, I am realizing that quite the opposite is true. Much, if not most of what we have come to believe about ourselves is simply not true. For the Truth is there is nothing wrong with us. There is nothing wrong with you.
Everybody has a story. Everybody has quirks, and thinks goofy things about themselves. But regardless of my story I am no less viable, no less worthy, no less Divine than the next rock on the block. Regardless of your story, neither are you. Because your story is just that, a story. It's not the Truth of who and what you are. But see, no one tells us! Nobody told me that I was not my story! So I wandered on, believing my story, and it became, as stories will do, a self-fulfilling prophesy.
Somewhere along the way someone told me I was just like my father. I believed them. Someone told me I would never amount to anything. I believed them. Someone told me I was born into sin. I believed them. Someone told me that I was a criminal. I believed them. Someone told me I was clinically depressed, I believed them. Someone told me my back was broken, that life would be a struggle, and I would never be the same. I believed them.
So I ask you; what's your story? What have you come to believe about yourself? And are those beliefs even yours, or did you just borrow them from someone else along the way and forget to give them back? Are you thinking, conscious, present in the moment? Or are you just thinking from some default position - most often an unconscious default position - that leads you to keep repeating the same patterns over and over again?
More good news: if we can learn it, we can unlearn it. I'm not saying unlearning is easy, it takes practice, and patience, and commitment. But it can be done. We have a lot to unlearn, and as a wise friend once told me, "It took you a long time to walk into the forest. It may take a little while to walk out."
Once you become mindful of this differentiation though- conscious vs. unconscious, mindful vs. default, story vs. Truth - you will begin to notice, to ask yourself as you feel, or think, or speak, or react; it is mine? Is it really how I feel, or want to feel, or think, or act? Am I consciously, proactive choosing this, or am I just doing it because I've always done it this way?
Just because you have picked up some erroneous beliefs along the way doesn't make you a misfit! Everyone has them! So you had a dysfunctional childhood, some accident or diagnosis, some situations or circumstances in your life that have been especially challenging. At some point in your life you will reach a crossroads and be clearly offered a choice. You can hang on to your story, or you can choose something else. If you are to be truly free to live in Infinite Possibility, to slip the limitations you have accumulated and live life as big as you are here to live it, you're going to have to get over yourself!
As used to the idea as you may have become - and I hate to burst your bubble here, but it's true - you're really not that different! You are unique. You are individual. There has never before been nor will there ever again be anyone like you. But just because you're different, doesn't make you any less, any less worthy, any less viable, any less anything! Your uniqueness does not have to be terminal!
Is one snowflake any less of a snowflake because it looks different from all the rest? Or because the wind blew it off course, or it hit a tree on the way down? Or ended up looking like something totally different than it thought it might, an icicle maybe? Or a raindrop? Do you think it's having a nervous breakdown and has to go to therapy for years because of it? Of course not! Because there's nothing wrong with it! It's exactly what it's supposed to be.
Just like you, and me.
You see, you're no misfit, any more than I was, or am. A little odd maybe, but so what, who isn't? We're not cookie-cutter people, all alike, same size and shape and flavor. We're not. Nor are we meant to be. We may well have picked up some beliefs along the way that no longer serve us. So what? Who hasn't? But here's the thing; we have choice. Always, always, we have choice.
We can choose to look at and see ourselves however we want. We can choose to believe about ourselves whatever we want. We can choose to unlearn and let go of what no longer serves us. We can choose to step out of the confines of our story, and into our Truth. All it takes is willingness, and mindfulness. We have to be willing to step up to the plate, to be aware of our thoughts and feelings, and what we are basing those thoughts and feeling on. We have to be willing to get more honest with ourselves than perhaps we have ever been.
Quite honestly I don't know that most people are up to it. The status quo has it's appeal. It may stink, but it's warm. It's much easier not to question, to go through our days relying on default thinking, mucking along, doing basically the same thing day after day. It takes work to get different. But if you're willing to take a good hard look, the rewards, the liberation, and the Infinite Possibility that will unfold before you may be the richest thing you have every experienced.
Regardless of your story, you are only a misfit if you continue to believe it to be so. You're here to do big work, to be a place where Divinity shows up in this world. A little daunting, perhaps, but, you're up to it, if you so choose. Step out of the story, and into the Truth, and you will find that, sure enough, the truth will set you free.
About the Author
Please visit SpiritPathCounseling.com, and SpiritAsJeff.com for more information.
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Escaped From The Island Of Misfit Toys Dark T-Shir Holiday Dark T-Shirt by CafePress $26 Come back to the Island of Misfit Toys Holiday Dark T-Shirt Tee, TShirt, Shirt Don't waste time deciding on which shirt to put on each morning. This dark shirt t-shirt will never go out of style and hides stains better too. This high-quality t-shirt is pre-shrunk and 100% cotton, which makes it both comfortable and durable. |


US $16.50

































































































