Moments Mom

Moments Mom

Moms and stepmoms often do the same job but are often seen very differently. Why is that? What makes being a stepmom hard?

When we become mothers, we have about nine months to get ready to the concept of taking care of another human being that is essentially helpless and needs all of our attention. We often forget about ourselves in order to give to this tiny little person.  We have time to adjust and acclimate ourselves to this little person. Our role and perspective changes as this young person grow. A mother's bond is strengthened through time and shared experiences.

Stepmoms are different. They are often an addition to the mommy role. They are often new to this concept and some may not have experience as to what taking care of children requires. She must learn, in a very short period, the likes and dislikes of her stepchildren, what makes them happy and what they dislike. The stepmom doesn't have the history that the mom has with her children.  She doesn't have the shared experiences that mom has either.

Feelings around the stepchildren are all new and very confusing. What is right? What is appropriate? Should I be saying this to them? Is it ok to feel that way about them? Will we ever get over these humps and have fun together? Will I ever be seen as a real mom?

Moms do many things for their children. They cook and clean, nurse the sick ones back to health, help them get dressed and off to school. Then it's time for homework and other chores. Moms provide the learning skills that our children need to become well adjusted and well rounded adults that contribute to our society. Moms are there for the happy moments and when tears need to be wiped. She will tuck her little one in bed and read a nice story.

Moms love their children when they are good and even when they are bad. She will forgive them even if they forgot to give her a card. She goes to the games and cheers just as loud as the other moms. She drives her children everywhere because she can.

These are many of the same things stepmoms will do for their stepchildren. They give and often receive nothing back in return, not even a thank you for being there. The reason that it is so much harder for stepmoms than it is for moms is that stepmoms will often feel like an outsider. She tries to fit in but there is always something missing. The fit isn't quite right. What is it?  It's time. It's history. It's a feeling that she matters to her stepchildren no matter what happens. She wants to learn to love them but sometimes, circumstances make it hard for everyone to be free to do so.

The one thing to remember is that whether it's the mom or the stepmom, both do the best they can to make their families the place to feel important and to feel loved. To learn more about stepmoms, go to www.coachingsteps.com to get a special report on feeling like an outsider.

Stepfamily life can be a joy or it can be difficult. Claudette Chenevert knows since she has been a stepmom since 1990. Also know as the Stepmomcoach on Twitter and Facebook, Claudette is a trained Life Coach. She has a BA in Psychology of Communication with an emphasis on Family Relations and is also a certified Stepfamily Foundation Coach.

A member of the International Coach Federation (ICF) and International Positive Psychology Association (IPPA), Claudette volunteers in her local community with organizations that deal with family issues. She provides tools and skills to families who are committed to making a difference in their lives and coaches individuals by helping them create and achieve inspiring goals.

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Moments $14.49 Moments

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Keepsakes for a Mother's Heart: Creating Cherished Moments for a Lifetime $2.99 Motherhood and making memories . . . they go hand-in-hand. From nestling a tiny newborn to celebrating a diploma, precious moments are wrapped together with love and locked in a mom's heart forever. Create unforgettable memories and enjoy them year after year as we take you on a journey of teddy bear picnics and umbrella parades, springtime gardens and cozy bedtime rituals. Follow a golden pathway where the simple becomes magical and the ordinary becomes extraordinary. They're the treasured moments of motherhood . . . they're Keepsakes for a Mother's Heart.

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The Single Mom's Guide to Finding Joy in the Chaos $5.99 Elsa Kok Colopy, a single mom for twelve years, knows what a struggle it is to raise young children alone. But she also knows that it's full of tender moments, happy tears, and downright crazy fun! In The Single Mom's Guide to Finding Joy in the Chaos, she addresses a host of everyday issues - from nutrition to discipline and more.

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