Moments Mommy

Moments Mommy

Treatment For Anxiety – The Moment Of Complaint

Long time ago I have seen on TV a documentary about a hiker that travel by walking all around the world, many kilometers a day. One of the moments in the movie that catch my mind, and left a strong imprint is when, one day he discovered that his ankle is wounded quite seriously. It was when he said, that the hardest thing to do along a journey, is to admit that some problem exist that requires to make a stop and change the plans. If one can admit for himself, that he can't continue alone with that problem, he open a path for a treatment to start.

In this articles I want to discuss with you this moment which I call the moment of constructing the complaint with regarding to starting a treatment for anxiety. What I want to do is to try to help you to map few factors that lead to this moment, so you can use it as a tool that may help you to act beyond your own "self" system – the act of starting a treatment.

 

Awareness to symptoms – reflection on oneself

The first ingredient of constructing the complaint is maybe the basic awareness to some symptoms. Awareness to something that bother, something that pain, something that interrupt our daily routine. Awareness assume reflection on oneself. It is not enough that someone else say to us: "hey you have a problem...", the problem should be signed and embed into our field, for example - by giving it names, by trying to assign various terms to it, by trying to diagnose oneself. Once the problem is signed it become part of our expressed subjectivity. It become part of the field of expression of oneself (which is a network made by language, emotions and sensations).

 

Identifying repetition

When talking about physical injury we usually talk about local problem at some organ. When talking about Anxiety, or mental-state, we can usually identified repetition of some mechanism in many places. The repetition can be identified if we can recognize that on various situations of our life – we get into the same "disturbing" result.

Note that I am talking now about something that is beyond the symptom, for example, beyond some Anxiety or panic attack. I am talking about mechanism in which we feel there is something unknown to us that make us fall into the trap over and over again. The symptom actually appear when we reflect toward the unknown, toward this mechanism. To visualize it imagine some beam of strong gravity. When you get close to it, when it get close to the field of expression, the symptom appear.

Lets see an example of repetition in one dimension: "My relationships with boys/girls are always ended the same..."

However this is usually multidimensional: "..Actually I am always find myself, fighting with my boss..", "...I can't finish this course..."

 

"Shrinking in" or "Spilling out"

I am using those terms "Shrinking in" and "Spilling out" to describe existential states of some person which are usually a result of carrying the problem too long. By "Shrinking In" I mean to severe state that someone can feel everything is close on him. For example, someone can feel like his head is clamped by events of life – the life are becoming more and more narrow without being able to get away.

By "Spilling out" I mean to another severe existential state in which someone feel that he or she can't carry things anymore. He/she want to vomit life out. To abolish! Sometimes, to get rid of parts of his/her body .

This is not empirical but I believe that those severe states are usually the most significant alerts, that wake up the Individual to act for solving the problem.

 

Open the door to the "other"

The previous existential states I described are unbearable! This is the point in the journey that one say to oneself – I need someone else to help me. I cant stand it anymore. I can't carry it alone anymore. What happen in this step is that the "other" that is usually obvious part of our system is positioned outside of our system as an anchor. Imagine that you are a network and at some moment some node (that represent the "other") is thrown from the network, and is located outside of it.

The opposite I believe happen in the moment of fell in love in which we encounter an existential state on which the we reconstruct the moment of binding the other into our network, which creates sensual effects spread all over our body.

In this case however, the other is tear out of our system, in a way that awake us from the blindness of the "obviously". This is the essential starting point for asking for help.

 

Assuming that the "other" know (demanding)

In this step we make an expression of our problem by verbalizing it (I am talking about adults) and we construct a mini theory of our problem. We take this mini-theory and turn it into question we present to someone else, like challenging someone else to tell us what do we have or demanding someone else to understand us. Sometimes we spread thoughts and words assuming that we are describing something very obvious and the other know what we are talking about.

This is the moment of assuming some knowledge to the "other". A knowledge we don't have. Sometimes it is a knowledge we have access to, we "know how" but we want the other to feed us (Like feeding a child with a spoon). We position the other in the place of the "one who know", "the one who responsible" , "the one who feed us", "the one that can organize complexity for us"

If you have a small kid then you possibly noticed that sometimes when your kid is plying with other kids, and he or she can't manage, then they run to you - "Father!!! (or Mommy!!!) they don't give me to use the slide......"

Now, we are doing the same but instead of running to our father and mother we are running to our friends, or to the forum, or approaching to the one that seat beside us in the bus, etc'

 

Keep holding the problem

Once we succeed expressing our problem we are actually ready to act for starting a treatment. However, many times, expressing the problem embrace a stream of rationalization that act for suspending the problem. So we keep holding the problem. This can take few circles until we finally, not always make the required act of starting some treatment. So the next title will be:

 

Starting a treatment ... or keep looping........

 

Some questions to think about...

If you are playing the role of the "other" when "complaint" is expressed – the moment of the demand from the other . What approach do you think can help to trigger the act of starting a treatment?

• Showing empathy and identification or not?

• "Understanding" the complaint or not?

• Get the position of the one who "know" or not?

I give you to answer those questions alone or in group....

About the Author

Assume that you are a text that can be mapped. There is some hidden motive that lead your "story", there are words and chapters. Some of those chapters are repeating unexpectedly. Your complaint is established based upon some words extracted from your story. While you can write new chapters, the already written exist and locked in the intersection between you and your culture, you and your language, you and the body and the physical world.

We are programmed by modern culture to think that we are unified system. While this may be essential for social life, in many cases it acts against us since it lock us in the system if ourselves, and prevent us from establishing meta subjectivity map of our subject. Mapping a subject as a text is a technique anyone can use to open the gates when is necessary to act in a way that requires us to cross our own system.

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