There You
There You
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![]() Are You There Vodka Its Me Chelsea by Chelsea Handler 2009 Paperback US $.54
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I have to admit that it took me a while to really get this saying so that my behavior changed. Perhaps when those of us who are cringing at the thought of having to meet and talk to people enter a room, we do feel "Well here I am." That isn't because we're vain, but because we're so focused on how we're feeling.
Focusing on ourselves, for whatever reason, isn't a good way to encourage another person to talk to us. No matter how hard we try to hide our anxiety about being in that room, other people tend to pick up on it. Because people are always trying to interpret the feelings they are sensing from us, the typical assumption people make is that you aren't comfortable WITH THEM!
You have probably heard stories along the line of the woman who thought the man who sat next to her at a dinner party had been such a fabulous conversationalist. Turns out what he had done was to made her feel special and focus on what she had to say all evening. He had actually said very little.
So once again we're talking about taking the focus off you and your distress. I hope the techniques we've discussed so far are helping your lower that distress level. Now here is one of the biggest keys to making YOU feel more comfortable and better at making small talk.
One of the best ways to increase your comfort level and appear to be more at ease is to focus on the other person. Stop the inner dialog that is telling you to bolt and run out of the room. Replace it with focus on the other person. It isn't important for you to be sparkling, insightful, charming, witty or fascinating (we'll work on those things later!).
You simply have to focus on the other person as though you found them sparkling, insightful, charming, witting and fascinating. When people feel that you like them and find them interesting, they are going to have the same feelings for you. I'm not sure of the psychological concepts that make this true, but it is true and you can make it work for you.
The way to start this process is to make eye contact and think to yourself, as if you were saying them out loud to the other person, "Ahh, there you are!" You'll feel some of your self-inflicted tension start to leave your body. Your face will soften and you'll start to smile. The other person is going to feel your warmth coming to them, and watch how much more easily the conversation will get started.
When people are focusing on you and encouraging you to talk about things you enjoy, isn't the whole small talk process much easier? Now you can help the small talk process by letting your body and face convey how happy you are that the other person showed up. Ahh, there you are!
And here is help for all your networking conversations. FREE networking scripts! Visit http://hiddenjobmarketsecrets.com/networking-scripts. Soon you'll be getting into the hidden job market to hear about all those unadvertised jobs!
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Keepsake Make You Mine Dress $129.5 Make this dress yours. You'll be smitten with the Keepsake Make You Mine Dress. The hi-lo hem is on trend and the cutout back adds even more interest. In a super soft fabric, no one will even know how comfortable you are while looking amazing. |
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Zig Before You Zag Short $42 Spring essentials. The West Coast Wardrobe Zig Before You Zag Short is the perfect little shorts for day or night. Try them with a casual tee or a dressier blouse for looks that take you anywhere. These button up shorts feature front pockets and faux back flaps. |
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Finders Keepers Say What You Will Shirt $92 Get them talking. Shaped sophistication this style goes sassy. In a neon bright the contrasting neutral color gives some interest to this buttoned up blouse. Pairing under a jacket for work or tied up back to cutoffs the Finders Keepers Say What You Will Shirt will keep you on their lips. |
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Siwy Madeleine Short in You Got It All $106.4 Show ‘em a little. You really do have it all in this super stylish cut off shorts. Taking their basic blues and cutting them off into the fave short short, Siwy has created the Madeline in You Got It All with exposed pockets and the perfect fringe. A short so perfect in length and fit, you’ll find them your go-to blue. |
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Sauce You Cheeky Monkey Tee in Oatmeal $39.9 Tongue and cheek style with these young starlets. A sassy little tee in a burnout fabrication and cropped style looks equally as sweet on a blonde Vanessa Hudgens and Megan Fox. Completely casual, the Sauce You Cheeky Monkey Tee takes a fun spin on a typical tee. |
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Sauce You Cheeky Monkey Tee in Purple $39.9 Tongue and cheek style with these young starlets. A sassy little tee in a burnout fabrication and cropped style looks equally as sweet on a blonde Vanessa Hudgens and Megan Fox. Completely casual, the Sauce You Cheeky Monkey Tee takes a fun spin on a typical tee. |
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Vintage Havana for Boutique to You Love Fashion Hoodie $14 Live Free. Love Fashion. Show your love for BTY in the Vintage Havana for Boutique to You Love Fashion Hoodie. This super soft hoodie is perfect to throw on after a hard day of looking good. You'll also love wearing it when the day calls for casual and cute. |
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Keepsake Lost Without You Dress in Spearmint $100.1 Nicky Hilton feels fresh in the Keepsake Lost Without You Dress. A ruffled front V-neck combines with pretty and tasteful cutouts that lead way into a low back and zipper closure. The minty hue and flirty length keep this dress light and fun. |
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Keepsake Lost Without You Dress in Blush - PREORDER $100.1 Keep it fresh in the Keepsake Lost Without You Dress. A ruffled front V-neck combines with pretty and tasteful cutouts that lead way into a low back and zipper closure. The pastel hue and flirty length keep this dress light and fun. |
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Keepsake Lost Without You Dress in Blush $143 Keep it fresh in the Keepsake Lost Without You Dress. A ruffled front V-neck combines with pretty and tasteful cutouts that lead way into a low back and zipper closure. The pastel hue and flirty length keep this dress light and fun. |
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Siwy Abbey Lee Skinny in You Got It All $137.2 Jean is cropped at the ankle, with a zipper on the outside side seam starting mid-calf to hem. Inseam is graded to accommodate all heights. Zipper is around 9” long. |
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West Coast Wardrobe Zig Before You Zag Short $29.4 Spring essentials. The West Coast Wardrobe Zig Before You Zag Short is the perfect little shorts for day or night. Try them with a casual tee or a dressier blouse for looks that take you anywhere. These button up shorts feature front pockets and faux back flaps. |
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NCLA Melody Ehsani I See You Nail Foils $11.2 Top off any look, anywhere, any way. The newest trend in nails is here! The NCLA Melody Ehsani I See You Nail Foils are setting the trend in finger art. A fun way to wear fashion - simply stick them on a go, go, go! Long-lasting, trend-savvy and this moment's most necessary accessory. |
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Siwy Denim Natalie Denim Shirt in Someone Like You $174 Everyone including Denim Blog knows that what's old is new. A style made savvy in the 70's revived in the 90's and now a must-wear is done perfectly by Siwy. Whether you choose denim on denim back to a maxi skirt or a high-waist short the Siwy Natalie Denim Shirt is a style you'll wear all year round! |
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Vintage Havana for Boutique To You Love Fashion Zip Hoodie $14 Live Free. Love Fashion. Show your love for BTY in the West Coast Wardrobe Grey Heather Fleece Zip Hoodie. This super soft hoodie is perfect to throw on after a hard day of looking good. You'll also love wearing it when the day calls for casual and cute. |
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Siwy Hannah Slim Crop Jean in I Fell For You $129.5 Cropped at the ankle, this style is meant to be snug, highlighting the figure. The Hannah has a magical inseam, which is graded to create the perfect skinny for petite figures, while also creating a flattering crop for the taller figure. |
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Wildfox Jewelry Heart and Key Necklace Set $30.8 He loves you, you love him not! Either way, love your style with the Wildfox Jewelry Heart and Key Necklace Set. This layered look gives you one to wear, and one to share...if you dare! We love the gold-plated necklaces worn together to show your love of the West Coast brand. |
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West Coast Wardrobe Neon Breeze Top $26.6 Hot summer nights and a neon breeze. Spring is meant for punch brights and you won't be disappointed in days spent wearing the West Coast Wardrobe Neon Breeze Shirt. Slouchy pockets adorn this button up top for a look that's casual when you want it and easily takes you into those summer nights. |
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Swag Like Us Lucky Star Cloak Tee-SALE!! $42 You shine on me wherever you are...be someone's star in the Swag Like Us Lucky Star Cloak. Madonna set the bar for both music and style, and you will too in this loose, drapy cloak made up in super soft cotton with an extra wide neck and three quarter sleeves. |
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One Teaspoon Harley Chambray Flare Pant-SALE!! $77 Literally DYING for this denim! Undeniably wide legged, these pants are so comfortable you’ll find a way to wear them every day – and so chic you won’t have to try. The One Teaspoon Harley Chambray Flare Pant is the pant you MUST OWN for fall. |
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Neon Breeze Top $38 Hot summer nights and a neon breeze. Spring is meant for punch brights and you won't be disappointed in days spent wearing the West Coast Wardrobe Neon Breeze Shirt. Slouchy pockets adorn this button up top for a look that's casual when you want it and easily takes you into those summer nights. |
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Koolaburra Savannity Boots in Chestnut $210 Got fringe? If you don't (or if you need a little more!), get the Koolaburra Savannity Boots in Chestnut. These fringe-embellished boots have two layers of fringe and are as comfy as they are beautiful! Available in rich chestnut brown. |
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Nation LTD Helena Tee $72.1 Casual comfort. When a sweatshirt is all you want, the Nation Ltd Helena Tee is what you need. Serious style with a swing shape – chic and relaxed is found. |
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Brokedown Lollapalooza Tank $47.6 This lover of music festivals shows her Mid-West spirit in the Brokedown Lollapalooza Tank. Whether you are attending, or just like to be festival ready you should def. get her style! |
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House of Harlow 1960 Evil Eye Earrings in Gold $42 Designer Nicole Richie keeps you posted on simple style. The House of Harlow 1960 Evil Eye Earrings not only bring you luck but also some seriously trendy piece to add to your jewelry collection. |
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House of Harlow 1960 Evil Eye Earrings in Silver $42 Designer Nicole Richie keeps you posted on simple style. The House of Harlow 1960 Evil Eye Earrings not only bring you luck but also some seriously trendy piece to add to your jewelry collection. |


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